Defying Destiny: Book 2, Forsaken Sinners MC Series
Owning Destiny: Book 3, Forsaken Sinners MC Series
CHARACTER INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
Well, it wasn’t instant, at least not for most of them. When I walked into Sinners Ink that day looking for an apartment and I saw Mack, I was a little scared. I almost turned around and walked away, but I didn’t. Then, as he was showing me the apartment, there was just something about him that I trusted. I felt safe with him. Then, the more time I spent with him and the rest of the guys, I found myself a family that loved me and would do anything to protect me.
I never planned to leave her alone at that party and to this day I still regret it. I just needed to escape. I knew that if I was there one more minute, something would have happened with Dani and I and I couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t even know I wasn’t in school anymore or that I was in the Marines, let alone that I was deploying in less than a month. I was scared and pissed off at the world. I made a mistake and I will never forgive myself for what happened after I left for as long as I live.
I’m not proud of that day and I wish I could turn back the clock and not say the things that I said to her that day. I know it’s not an excuse, but I was in a bad place, sometimes still am, but I should have never taken it out on her. She offered an ear and a shoulder to lean on and I shoved it back in her face. Sara and I have come a long way since then. I’d like to think she’s forgiven me and we’ve both moved on. Even though I’m still dealing with my own shit, I think I’m learning to not pass my shit on to other people. Sara is like a sister to me now and I will do anything to protect her, even from myself.
I was out of my mind with worry, and that’s no reason for the way I reacted, but I was scared that I had lost her. I had no idea what happened; where she went, why, or if someone took her. I will spend every day for the rest of my life making it up to her.
I still don’t think I’m strong, or as strong as I’d like to be, but I’m getting there. When I left New York, I was scared and so beaten down, physically and emotionally. I thought that since I stayed with Rick for so long that I was weak. I let him do that to me. Why didn’t I leave the first time things went bad? Back then, I thought it was because I was weak, but really, it was Rick that was weak. That’s why he treated me the way he did. I’ve learned since being around everyone in the club that for me to leave, that was my first big step into being a better me, a stronger me. And even though I love that Toby and the rest of my new family will do anything to protect me, I want to stand on my own. I will continue to get stronger; on my own and with those I love standing behind me.
Life is amazing. As you all know, Toby asked me to marry him. We haven’t discussed a date or how we are going to get married, but I know when the time is right, it will happen. I don’t need a big fanfare wedding, I just need him, and he knows that, though he wants me to have all the bells and whistles. As for falling asleep beside him every night, the only words I can use to describe it is amazing. I know that word is overused by everyone, but really, that’s what pops into my head. He makes me want to be better, he makes me want to be myself and I know he’ll still love me. When I fall asleep, it’s with him holding me and in his arms, I know I have my forever. I know I have my strength and reason to wake up the next morning and keep pushing on.
I was always fighting in my life, whether it was for food, love, or to live. But when I came across the Forsaken Sinners, I felt I didn’t have to fight by myself anymore. They mean more to me than my blood should have. I will do anything for my club and my family and I know without a shadow of a doubt that they would lay their lives down for me too.
When I was overseas, I had a brother at arms that was going to prospect for the Forsaken Sinners. He grew up in a town where there was a chapter and he would always tell me what type of people they were. I never really thought much about it, but when he died while serving his country, I felt like I owed it to him to join. I’ve never regretted that decision to this day and I thank God every day for my brother who told me about this type of brotherhood. My club means the world to me and they have brought me more happiness than I thought possible after my brother Zeke died and I thought I lost Dani. And then for them to bring me back to her, it’s just the way it was supposed to happen.
My father was murdered when I was eighteen. I snapped when I found out he was killed. I went searching for that motherfucker and when I found him, I was going to make him pay, but slowly and painfully. But before I could finish the job, Mack found me. He said that it looked like Lucifer himself was inside of me that day. He pulled me back and offered me a deal I couldn’t refuse and I took it. I graduated high school and came here to California with Mack. He took me under his wing and I became a prospect. I miss my father every day, but his death brought me here, and I will never regret that.
When I met Mack and everyone else in the club, I was trying to run from my past and make myself into a new person, someone I could be proud of. Bad shit happened to me, but I never wanted that to lead my life or make me into a scared little girl. They helped me do that. I know some people may not like me or think I’m too much of a bitch, but I am who I was always supposed to be. And they all love me and wouldn’t change me for anything. Sure, I drive them all insane most days, but they still love me.
Honestly, I want a boy. Whenever I picture my baby, I see a mini Zane, so that’s my hope, but I will be happy either way, though I feel sorry for our baby if she’s a girl. Her father will be one protective father either way, but if it’s a girl, it will be ten times worse. You think he’s bad with me, I think it will be worse having a daughter.
This is sort of a touchy subject for me, but I’ll do my best to tell you all. Harlow was just someone who I liked to mess with. She was so innocent and cute and I loved the way she would react when I messed with her. She was such a contrast too. Innocent but sassy, I loved it. But she was also a really good friend, in some ways, more so than Dani (don’t tell her that or she’ll kick my ass). But at that time, I thought I had lost Dani, and Harlow helped me not feel so lost and forgotten. Then, one night, one thing lead to another and we fucked. Of course it was more than a one night stand to me, though I’m not in love with her and it’s not forever, but it was nice, different than what I get with club pussy or random girls. But she freaked and I freaked because I didn’t know she was a virgin. I thought I’d let her get her head on straight and I could get my shit straight before we talked about it and about where we went from there, but the next day, she was just gone. At first, I thought she would be back, but as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, I fear I’ve lost her for good. And that doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t know how I feel for her, but I know I miss her every day and wish she would come back to me so I could at least have her back in my life again, even if just as a co-worker. I would take her any way I could get her at this point.
I never thought of having kids of my own until I met Sara. Now, I can’t stop thinking of her pregnant with my child. I definitely think there will be babies in the future. We just haven’t talked about it yet.
Yes, I do want children, as long as they are with Sara. I hope they take after their mother; beautiful and with so much strength.
I think I do, but I want to wait. Things with Toby are still so new, and I want more time with just him and me. I’m in no rush to have kids, but I do want them eventually. As long as Toby is ok with that, but if not, I’m ok with it just being him and me too.